In the words of Taylor Swift, “we eeee are never ever ever…getting back together.” Like. Ever.
We haven’t had “the talk” yet…actually we never will, since as of last Friday, I’m done with my hairdresser of ten years!
You might have remembered back in January I talked about how I hated to spend so much money every eight weeks with my hairdresser (she costs $78 before tip), but that I felt kind of stuck because I knew with her I didn’t have to worry about explaining my hair to someone new, then feel worried they would massacre it.
The worst part is mainly the cost, but also she has gotten increasingly negative over the years (or maybe I just got more positive?), and every time I have ever brought up changing my style, she has pounced on me and told me everything that can’t be done with my hair (which to me is just advertising her lack of talent and creativity).
Most of her negative talk I can get past…which is her complaining non stop about her boyfriend, the weather, people, traffic, her step-daughter, movies, etc. (BTW she is in her early 50’s I think). But being negative about me and my hair? Then we have problems. Here is how our conversation went last Friday:
Me: I’m really thinking about changing the style of my hair…I mean I’ve just had it this way for over ten years.
Her: (negative tone) Well what did you want to do with it?
Me: I don’t know…just something…
Her: Well you play volleyball so you said you like to wear your hair up, so there is only so much you can do with your shorter hair.
Me: Yeah but…
Her: (more negative tone) I mean there is only so much you can do with your hair’s texture and consistency…what are you expecting?!?
Me: Well geez I wasn’t expecting for someone to tell me that there isn’t much I can do! Maybe if it was a little longer…
Meanwhile, I should mention we are just about done with my “only one style that will ever fit my head” haircut, and as we are having the conversation, more cutting seems to be happening. uhhhhhh…..
Her: You can’t have your hair long. With your texture it will just hang there. I mean have you ever seen those older ladies with baby fine long hair…they just look ridiculous (for realz she said this). I mean you could always have something like it shorter in the back and longer on the sides…
Me: (suddenly picturing Kate Gosselin with her horrible hair ) Yeah but I just want to avoid having a mom cut…you know what I mean?
Apparently something I said triggered her inner Edward Scissorhands, because hair is now flying off my head left and right, and I’m pretty sure I’m going to end up looking like K.D. Lang by the end of this. In fact, I even said, “(laughs nervously) are you cutting a lot more than usual?”
She insisted she wasn’t, but I knew she was, and when she was done I sat there looking at myself in the mirror and thinking, “well hello there Mr…oh wait that’s me.” I really wanted to stab her with her sharp, pretentious scissors.
I must have been dazed because I actually left a tip..mainly because she was five feet away and I felt pressure, although my face was utterly displeased. I think even Cinnamon (the receptionist’s name) noticed. Except instead of sympathy I got, “Oh my gawwwwd I looooooove your haircut.” Shut up, spice girl! 🙁
As I drove away I knew that would be the last time I’d ever go there. Maybe that was the motivation I needed to try someone else at a better price (or at least a better attitude). I mean they couldn’t make it that much worse, could they?
The good news is it should grow out in about a week (or two or three) to where it would be normally when I get it cut, and with five pounds of gel, an entire bottle of hairspray, and 65 bobby pins, I can at least put five strands back in a ponytail, or make it look somewhat decent when I style it.
Have you ever had a nightmare haircut experience?
Image courtesy of imagerymajestic at FreeDigitalPhotos.net