I’ve been wanting to do a post like this for quite some time, but held back in fear of possibly looking negative…but I kind of think that’s ridiculous, since I’m human and all…and there might be some of you out there who go, “oh thank god I’m not the only one who thinks that way!” So here we go…
Forgive me blogosphere, it’s been….well never since my last confession. Is that how it goes? Seriously I grew up Catholic and can’t remember. Anyway…
Confession One: I sometimes feel crappy about being single.
I think the biggest confession I have is that I feel like such an oddball sometimes that I’m not married or in a relationship at 42. I haven’t even had a serious boyfriend for over five years now! I’ll admit it gets really hard reading about a lot of 20-somethings who are already married or getting married soon. You can’t help but wonder if it’s definitely about you (looks, personality, etc).
Now I’ll admit I don’t put myself out there as much as I should…well sort of. You see when the last bf and I broke up I really did put myself out there, joining the TRE (target rich environment) of beach volleyball. Have you ever seen the guys who play? But nothing ever came of that, and I really despise online dating. I just spend SO much time at the computer already, the last thing I want to do is comb through weird emails with guys using text speak as their main form of communication. The whole online dating thing is such a huge project…and the thought of doing it just exhausts me. So what’s a single girl to do?
*side note: around these parts being single…even at my age is pretty normal. But here in the PF community it seems like everyone is married by the time they are 30.
Confession Two: I can’t relate!
There are a couple PF subjects out there that I have a hard time relating to, and would have no idea what kind of productive comment to leave.
The first one is about home ownership and mortgages. I have never owned anything…I’ve always rented. I came close to buying a condo once when I lived in Seattle, but didn’t feel quite ready. Then I moved to LA, and although I had a steady job, the cost to own here is outrageous. Then I lost my job and I’ve been living off an unsteady freelance income since.
The point is I have zero clue what it’s like…and I admit to feeling a tad bit jealous when again people who aren’t even 30 own their home. I feel like I’m living in some bizzaro world (this could also be a side effect of watching too many House Hunters episodes).
Another thing I can’t relate to is student loans. At least this is a positive, since I was very fortunate to have my college paid for and a partial scholarship. I do feel very bad reading about my fellow bloggers who are going through having to pay mountains of student loan debt.
And of course like I discussed in confession one, I have a hard time relating to “couple’s financial issues,” since I’m not in a relationship, but at least with that one I have been in the past…so sometimes I can offer something insightful.
Confession Three: I hate numbers!
Whenever I read a blog that involves a ton of facts/figures/numbers/calculations I totally blank out. Why? Because I hate numbers. I’m a touchy-feely right-brained thinker who likes reading the emotions behind personal finance. But me and numbers are like oil and water.
I totally envy those who can get into this by the way (Pauline at RFI is one of those girls I admire). She posts that if she does this, this, and that, then X will happen. Because of this she is a future-thinker and can really project how much she will need and how much she will make. It impresses the hell out of me!
Me? I like talking about how I feel all the time. lol! How certain events have impacted me (both emotionally and financially). The good news is there is something out there for everyone, right?
Confession Four: I know jack about investing.
One serious gap I have as a PF blogger is not knowing…or caring as much as I should about the investing world. I have an investment account and financial planner who sends me information all the time, yet I kind of ignore it. I guess this sort of goes along with my hatred of numbers.
I really wish at some point I would get excited about talking about Roth IRA’s and stocks/bonds/mutual funds, but I don’t see that happening any time soon. Sigh…
Confession Five: It’s hard sometimes to read how much money people make.
This is self-explanatory. I think it’s also one of the hardest things to admit. On one hand it inspires me to know it’s possible that with enough hard work and patience, I too can achieve making unlimited income each month, but at the same time I also feel like “ugh, what is wrong with me that I’m making as a freelancer each month what some people are making in extra income?”
One of the biggest demons I have always battled in my life is not comparing myself to other people. I’ve mentioned it multiple times in this blog in the past…yet it’s still one of the hardest things to try and get over. As you can see in each confession it’s a common theme.
When I go for beach runs I often have that angel/devil sitting on my shoulder. The angel is encouraging and fun and lighthearted, yet pushes me when I need pushing.
The devil is a whiny diva. She tells me how tired, hungry, hot, cold, and grumpy she is, and tries to convince me to give up. I sometimes visualize throwing her bitchy ass in the ocean, but occasionally…and just occasionally she overpowers me. I think this week for some reason she has been riding shotgun.
The point is sometimes that lil’ devil wins and she writes blog posts like this…but know that most of the time the angel wins and she will get back to writing happy, positive, self-empowered posts soon. She just needed a little staycacation (she’s smart about money don’t ya know).
What would you like to confess today, my little sinners? Can you relate to any of these?