For some reason certain things I saw on social media made me feel this way. Several friends just got engaged, someone is celebrating because they got a new job, someone is posting pics of their Hawaiian getaway, someone bought a new house…oh you know…sutff that makes the green-eyed monster come out to play.
It’s hard in those moments because you truly want to be happy to see your friends doing great things, and are genuinely happy for them, but then that sad, victim-ey question always arises, “what about me?”
Oh I’m sure you’ve all said it and thought it at one point…if not, congratulations, you are a much better human being than I am.
But like always I let myself have a five minute pity party until the moment passes. And it always passes eventually. Why? Because we are resilient human beings, and each one of us has a uniqueness that is unlike anyone out there, and that my friends is what we should be celebrating.
I have not lived the “conventional life” per say. What do I mean by that? Well I did go to college, but beyond that I’ve been a bit all over the place when it comes to “society’s standards of success.” I’m still not married (and have never been), I don’t have kids, I’ve never owned a house, and I’ve taken a huge cut financially with my career as a freelancer, which started when I was 38. Not to pick on Oprah again, but I remember when she was in her 40’s and how she said you are just so much more aware and have so much more figured out, to which I say, “ha!” I just figured out that I really have no idea what the hell I’m doing. Yay me!
And I know it’s not just me. After my trip home to Detroit in June, my unofficial scientific research showed that a lot of my friends my age are having that WTF wake up call as well. It’s like you approach a huge fork in the road that either says, “go this way and it will be super scary, adventurous, fun, uncertain, but a great growth experience,” or “go this way and live the same life you always have that is boring, dull, soul-sucking, and bland, but safe and predictable.”
Now by all means I’m not suggesting that if you graduate from college, get a job, get married, have 2.5 kids, get a promotion, buy a home, work the 9-5, then retire that you are somehow living a soul-sucking, boring life. On the contrary! What I’m saying is perhaps that IS your uniqueness and that’s great, but it isn’t mine, and their ain’t nutin’ wrong wit dat!
So on that one Friday when I let my feelings pass and the day went on, I got an email asking me how to start a blog since I basically have that knowledge now (and not the first time I’ve been asked in the last couple of weeks), which makes me feel good. Where I was once the student, I have become the teacher.
In fact looking back over the last year when I wondered if certain things I was doing was “really worth it in the long run,” I can say, “hell yeah!” I have learned a skill which not everyone has, and I need to celebrate that.
In fact, I need to celebrate EVERYTHING that is unique about me. That means skills, talents, my body, my looks, my weird sense of humor…everything!
So when I play volleyball and I’m not one of those girls who can pull their sexy blonde hair out of ponytail and have it look absolutely perfect (I sweat so much that it actually holds the shape of a ponytail when I pull the rubber band out), I can think to myself, “I may not have perfect hair, but I can run fast.”
But the trick is to find that within yourself, because it’s way too easy to get caught up in external validation, isn’t it? I mean how many times have you ever posted a status update on FB and you knew it was profound, witty, or just plain awesome, and you just wait for the “likes” to start pouring in (raises hand). You’re feelin’ pretty darn spectacular in that moment aren’t you?
But then sometimes you post what you think is going to be the “post of your generation” in your blog, only to find you don’t have many comments, or it completely gets ignored in link love (raises hand again)?
If that’s the case, maybe it’s time to do some personal inventory. What, if NO ONE BUT YOU, knew what made you special or unique?
Do you have a big heart? Are you a good person? Are you generous? Do you see the best in people? Do you hope your friends and family succeed?
If you had no one following your blog would you still write? If you had no friends on FB would you still post status updates that you are at Disneyland? Or take a picture of yourself in that smokin’ hot outfit? (BTW for an in-depth and hilarious analysis of why people post certain posts on FB click here)
So whenever you’re feeling blue that you are somehow behind the curve in life, remember how amazeballs you are regardless of all that “stuff.” Even supermodels get depressed….they don’t eat when they are depressed like I do…but depressed nonetheless.
What unique qualities do you possess! Brag away..and I promise not to be jealous. And if I am I won’t tell you anyway.
Image courtesy of adamr at FreeDigitalPhotos.net