Feeling Guilty/Link Love

Getting ready for my yard sale

Getting ready for my yard sale

OK, I feel like a jerk right now. A young (by young I mean teenager) girl with a flowery dress and thick glasses came to my door. I normally can see unusual people walk by my window and not answer the door, but at a quick glance it looked like my neighbor, so I answered it. “Hello ma’am, I’m trying for a scholarship…” I interrupted her and said, “oh hun I’m sorry, I’m not interested (didn’t she know I had a blog to write?!?!).”

After, I felt really guilty. I mean I know I don’t want to buy anything, but should I have heard her out even though that would have wasted her time? I mean, what if she went through a huge spiel and then I rejected her? Would she be irritated?

I remember when I was a junior cheerleader, we would go door to door in my hometown and sell those tins of Tootsie Rolls. People bought from us all the time. Now the idea seems like a wasteful venture…and potentially dangerous. Oh the times of innocence. Anyway, what do you do in that situation?

This week has been a mix of trying to work on a video project, running errands, and prepping for the yard sale I’m having Sunday (where Tanya from Eat, Laugh, Purr is joining me). I think there will be four of us in total selling stuff, and I really can’t wait to just get rid of the last of my clutter (even though by most standards, it’s not very much). I think it’s my last ditch effort in selling my old CD’s. If it doesn’t sell, I’m donating the rest to the library. I wish I had the foresight in the 90’s to know that eventually all music would be stored in “the cloud.”

So in my effort to become more Type B, the Universe decided to f with me and the very day I mentioned in this post how I avoid tickets…I got a ticket. It wasn’t for parking though. In fact it’s so stupid I could kick myself. I bought my car from a private seller back in Feb, but I never even noticed (and neither did anyone else till this week) that I didn’t have a front license plate.

Well, I got a ticket for $38, which if I fixed the problem would be reduced to $10. “OK, not bad,”I thought. I went to the DMV and it cost me $20 to get new front and back plates (they said it would be easier). Then I had to drive to the police station to prove I had them on correctly. I paid $10 for the ticket, then get this…they told me I had to pay another $10 to have an officer walk out with me to see the car.

Meanwhile, the Universe is having a serious laugh on my behalf and was waiting to see how I would react. But dammit I will prevail, so I said something slightly sarcastic, but with a friendly smile, to the admittedly sweet, older officer. He followed me out to my car and I continued to give him what I like to call, “shit-lite.” At least he was very nice and had a good sense of humor. Believe me it took a lot not to scream, “AREYOUF*CKINGKIDDINGME!” :)

And lastly, my neighbor next door is moving out. She is the one who turned our crappy looking shared backyard into a zen oasis a couple years ago, even though we seem to hardly ever use it. Turns out she is going to practically tear the whole thing down when she moves, with maybe the exception of just the deck. :( I’m not sure what I want to invest, if anything, in making it pretty. I also get nervous about who might be moving in, as our walls are paper thin and you hear everything. In my over six years here, I’ve been very fortunate to have good neighbors to my left and right.

Bye-bye oasis. :(

Bye-bye oasis. :(

That’s it from me. I really hope tonight The LA Kings win the Stanley Cup!! GoKingsGo!

What are you up to this weekend?

Link Love

Travis at Enemy of DebtNo Thanks, DirectTV, You Know Where You Can Stick Your High Pressure Sales Act

KK at Student Debt Survivor“All or Nothing” Thinking is Holding You Back

Shannon at The Heavy PurseThe Money Secrets Parents Keep from Their Kids

Arman at The Big Man’s WorldBalancing blogging and the ‘real’ world

Tre at The House of TreDead Broke?

Liz at Budgeting for More4 Years of Marriage and 4 Financial Lessons Learned

Addison at Cashville SkylineHow Much is Physical Fitness Worth to You?

Kayla at Shoeaholic No More guest posted on Debt DebsWorth it Wednesday ~ Debt and the Single Girl



Tonya is a video editor/producer and writer living in Los Angeles who enjoys beach volleyball, playing ukulele, and running. To get the latest updates, be sure to subscribe. To support her fundraising efforts to produce more video for this site, please visit her crowdfunding page!

Latest posts by Tonya (see all)

  • Arman @ thebigmansworld

    Thanks for the link shout out, Tonya- Um….$10 to WALK YOU TO YOUR CAR???

    I actually don’t think you should feel overly guilty for your outburst- with so much fluff prevalent when it comes to such situations, it’s as though we’ve been conditioned to it. I often do it on the phone too…oops.

    • http://budgetandthebeach.com/ Tonya

      You’re welcome! Well it wasn’t much of an outburst…you mean the girl at the door? More like a nice, polite rejection…I hope anyway. :)

  • http://debtdebs.wordpress.com/ DEBt DEBs

    I do the same, tell people straight away rather than waste their time. Don’t feel guilty, I think you are doing them a favour. Crappy thing to have to do – going door to door. Your backyard oasis looks great! Sorry you will be losing it and I hope you get good neighbours. I guess the $10 walkabout could have been worse – like $20 bucks. Thanks for linking Kayla’s post and here’s to a good weekend!!

    • http://budgetandthebeach.com/ Tonya

      yeah it could have been worse having to buy new plates AND pay the full price of the ticket. It’s OK, I take full responsibility.

  • Shoeaholicnomore

    I’m sorry about losing your “Oasis”. That stinks! I hope you can figure out a way to make it still semi-Zen on a small budget. Things like this can really work your creative muscles :) Also, thanks for mentioning my guest post in your Link Love!

    • http://budgetandthebeach.com/ Tonya

      Thanks Kayla! Hope so too! At least a place to read and a table to eat outside.

  • Liz

    I’m convinced that the universe really does like to play jokes on me from time
    to time. Like seriously, somebody must be getting a good laugh. You had me
    laughing out loud with your “shit- lite” look. Too funny.
    I hope next week the Universe gives you better luck : )Thanks for the
    mention , Tonya!

    • http://budgetandthebeach.com/ Tonya

      Thanks Liz! Yes I picture little Gremlins out there somewhere with a replica doll of me just trying to mess with me. :)

  • Cashville Skyline

    Thanks for the link love, Tonya! I absolutely hate parking and speeding tickets, but I seem to be a magnet for them (especially when I’m on the road). Sorry that you’ve lost a cool neighbor and backyard oasis. I’m sure you can find a way to re-create it inexpensively, but you also seem like a pretty busy lady who probably wouldn’t spend much time there :)

    • http://budgetandthebeach.com/ Tonya

      I do to, which is why I work so hard to avoid them. That one took me by surprise, but I’ll keep at trying not to get any parking tickets this year. If so that will be two years running…hope I didn’t jinx myself again.

  • http://www.momoneymohouses.com/ Mo’ Money Mo’ Houses

    $10 to get the police officer just to walk out to your car? What a ridiculous money grab!

    • http://budgetandthebeach.com/ Tonya

      I know. I had to keep from saying, “WTF??”

  • John S @ Frugal Rules

    Wow, $10 to walk out to your car?? That’s just plain nutty. It never ceases to amaze me the stupid fees they can get away with charging at times. Oh well, what can you do? ;) Hope you have a great weekend Tonya!

    • http://budgetandthebeach.com/ Tonya

      I know! Who came up with that one? Were they all sitting around drunk at someone’s house and someone said, “let’s see how we can get more money from the people!” :)

  • Kim

    Jim got a speeding ticket this week. I think they will probably cancel our insurance! Sometimes I wish we lived in Germany. Have a great weekend.

    • http://budgetandthebeach.com/ Tonya

      Oh no!!! :( Must be going around. :(

  • Megan Michael

    Oh my the universe totally shit on you with that license plate thing, I am so sorry! I was confronted in the parking lot of a store once by a kid who needed scholarship money. It was annoying. I’m still paying off my own student loans! I would be PISSED if someone knocked on my door like that. I hate solicitors. If you don’t know me, don’t knock on my door.

    • http://budgetandthebeach.com/ Tonya

      That’s OK. I’ve been doing great not getting any parking tickets for 1.5 years, so If I can keep that at bay it will be fine. They are a lot more expensive too.

  • http://www.milliondollarninja.com Aldo @ MDN

    That’s what you get for being a terrible person and sending that poor girl away. She only wanted a little of your time. haha just kidding. I really hope you have a better week next week.

    • http://budgetandthebeach.com/ Tonya

      Ha, well I got the ticket before that so… :) Thanks Aldo! All in all not complaining. <see, positive thoughts.

  • Shannon

    I am a HUGE believer in karma, so I am passionate about putting out as much good energy as possible. It’s hard to do all the time, and I swear when I don’t, it’s comes back to me. Anywho, good luck with the yard sale this weekend!! We did one a few years ago, and I was shocked at how many people came out and how much money we made.

    • http://budgetandthebeach.com/ Tonya

      I am too. I’m not really religious so I use that as kind of a moral compass. I hope we get a lot of people. We have tons of churches on my street, so I’m hoping that brings traffic.

  • Girl Meets Debt

    “shit-lite.” – Lady I love your vocab. :) Booo I really dislike no-so-Quick but I do think the LA Kings are going to win it this year. Good luck with your yard sale!

    • http://budgetandthebeach.com/ Tonya

      Thanks Wendy! :) I think his last name should be Flexible. Dude can really do the splits.

  • Tre

    I’m guilty of doing the same thing when people come to our door. What is worse? Cut them off or wait until they finish to tell them you are not interested? I always feel bad. Thanks for the link love :-)

    • http://budgetandthebeach.com/ Tonya

      I know exactly. I figure they can move on to the next door quicker. At least I dint’t slam the door in her face. Now that would be rude.

  • Kemkem

    The fun never ends does it? ;0) I hope you get a good new neighbor, otherwise between the airbnb people and that, you will need to invest in another oasis. Then the Universe would really be taking the piss!!

    • http://budgetandthebeach.com/ Tonya

      Hopefully they will be good. But it’s out of my control so I will just think good thoughts! :)

  • http://theheavypurse.com/ Shannon Ryan

    Really? $10 for the officer to walk outside and confirm you had the front plates on your vehicle now? That’s crazy! I admit that I’m not a huge fan of strangers coming to my door either. It’s one thing if it’s neighborhood children that we know but strangers … these days you have to be careful. Your backyard looks terrific, although I can’t blame you for not wanting to invest much money replacing her oasis if you don’t use it much. Good luck at your garage sale with Tanya! :)

    • http://theheavypurse.com/ Shannon Ryan

      And thanks for the link love too! :)

      • http://budgetandthebeach.com/ Tonya

        I know I had to bite my tongue when they added that extra $10. Just crazy! I might look into some cheaper used furniture on CL. Just a place to relax and read a book would be nice…and a table to have friends over for dinner.

  • http://morethanjustmoney.com/ Kassandra

    Wow anyway to make a dollar that even the police come up with some crazy reasons! Sorry to hear that you’re losing a good neighbour. It’s a hit or miss when it comes to your next door neighbour. Hopefully the next one will just as nice and put up a new oasis for you :)

  • Student Debt Survivor

    It would take all of my strength not to say anything about paying an officer $10 to walk to my car. Knowing me, I’d open my mouth and get arrested on a ridiculous charge. You’re not kidding about the yard, that’s so pretty. It’s too bad she’s taking it with her. I guess that’s why I never really invested much time or money into rentals. If I did and then I had to leave I’d feel like I’d wasted my time. That being said I never stayed in a rental more than a year, at at time because I never knew where I was going to be the next year. If I knew I’d be somewhere more than a year I might “splurge” on curtains or something. Thanks for the link love, much appreciated. Have a great weekend!

  • http://deardebt.com/ Dear Debt

    The universe is always throwing you tests! You will pass them, girl! I hope your team is winning. :)

  • http://www.debtbustingchick.com/ Debt Busting Chick

    My next door neighbour is great, we get on well because her daughter who also lives with her is my friend. A few of the other neighbours are a little on the moany side. Good neighbours are hard to come by in certain areas but I’m sure you’ll get one just as nice.

  • http://www.phroogal.com/ The Phroogal Jason

    You just gave me an idea for the yard. That does look like an oasis. Since you don’t use it no use in trying to make it pretty just keep it livable, right?

    I do hope you get as good of a neighbor as the one moving out.

  • http://rockstarfinance.com J. Money

    $10 for the officer??? Did you get anything *else* in return for that? ;)

  • CanadianBudgetBinder

    I’ve listened to some people before who have came to the door but for the most part I won’t waste their time if I”m not interested. They are better to be on their way to chat to the next person who might just support their cause.

  • Tanya @ Eat Laugh Purr

    Whaaaattt! $10 for an officer to come outside and look? That’s cray, cray.Only in LA! I generally don’t answer the door to solicitors either. First, because they annoy me and second because it’s not easy for me to see out of the peep hole! LOL! Looking forward to tomorrow and her’s hoping that we have lots of buyers, looking for exactly what we’re selling! :)

  • http://www.youngadultmoney.com/ DC @ Young Adult Money

    Dang, that backyard really does look like an oasis! I have dreams of fixing ours up super nice, but a fence and new retaining wall alone would cost thousands and thousands of dollars. There’s a really nice park right across the street, so I’m leaning towards trying to make it as nice as I can without spending much on it. We’ll see…

    As far as the door-to-door teenager, I think in today’s day and age there is almost no reason to go door-to-door. There’s too many ways to connect with people online and I’m big on a home being a place where people shouldn’t interfere, especially by knocking on the door. I pretty much never answer my door and I also have a “no solicitor sign” on it. On a side note a politician damn near ripped my door off one afternoon and to top it off I was asleep! If someone doesn’t answer after one ring, why the heck are you trying to open the door?? Seriously was a school board member! Unbelievable! Definitely didn’t vote for her haha.

  • debtfreeoneday

    Sorry to hear about your ticket Tonya, can’t believe they charged you $10 to walk you to your car though! Well done on keeping your cool! Hope the yard sale goes well and you get rid of your CDs. I’ve got a ton of them too but I can’t seem to part with them, although I really should.

  • http://thebrokeandbeautifullife.com/ Stefanie @ brokeandbeau

    Good luck with your yard sale. I wouldn’t feel too bad about the scholarship kid, that’s real life, better to learn sooner rather than later. I had an incident when I was in DC sitting on the Mall where a group of young 8 year old boys asked if I’d take a survey. The first question was “do you believe in God?” I said no and their jaws dropped. I felt kinda bad, but I think it’d be silly to lie about who I am and my reality.

  • E.M.

    $10 for a police offer to accompany you to the car is just ridiculous. I really dislike when you’re told one thing, settle for thinking “okay, it could be worse,” and then of course, something else does end up happening. At least it’s over with now. The days of going door-to-door are pretty much obsolete, at least as far as kids are concerned. I always avoid answering the door if it’s someone I don’t know, especially when it says “no soliciting” for our apartment complex. The backyard does look rather lovely!

  • Tim Ramage

    This might be the cynical side of living in Los Angeles, but I can’t tell you how many times I’ve answered the door only to have teenagers selling magazine subscriptions for some vague fundraiser, then after declining, watching them get picked up in a van to move off to another neighborhood. Now, I just don’t answer the door. Don’t feel too guilty…door-to-door fundraising in LA is a weird proposition.

  • http://shopmyclosetproject.com/ Michelle

    I’m surprised you opened your door. As a rule I don’t give money to random peeps who show up at my door. I think it’s much better (and safer for all involved) to throw a fundraising event. Going to stranger’s doors=no bueno.

  • Travis Pizel

    I’m not a big fan of fundraisers…..at some point i even stopped letting my kids participate in them. For me, it’s always a very quick “Sorry, I’m not interested.” Saves my time, and theirs. What I DO support however, are kids with the drive to setup a lemonade stand. Anytime I see a lemonade stand I pull over, and act like I haven’t had anything to drink in a week, and make a good purchase. I love seeing a small kid’s eyes light up when I tell them I’ll take 5 glasses, then leave them a tip to boot. :)

  • http://prairieecothrifter.com/ Daisy @ Prairie Eco Thrifter

    When faced with situations like that (and I feel like I am faced with these far too often), I react similarly. Sometimes, I’ve felt guilty for being so short, but then I remember when I used to work in sales and I’d try to pitch to somebody who would hear me out and then clearly have no intention of buying whatever I was selling. It wasted my time and theirs, so while it didn’t feel good to be rejected off the bat, it’s also not fun to have to go through the spiel.